THIS IS INDEED A HUMUOR, LETS ENJOY IT

*   ** WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?** ***

  ** KINDERGARTEN TEACHER:* To get to the other side.

** PLATO:* For the greater good.

** THE POPE:* God knows.

** POLICEMAN:* Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll know why.

** ARISTOTLE:* It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.

** SADDAM HUSSEIN:* This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

** CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK*: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

** MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR:* I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives being called into question.

** MACHIAVELLI:* The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.

** FREUD:* The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

** GEORGE W. BUSH (2)*: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here.

** DARWIN :* Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads.

** EINSTEIN*: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.

** NELSON MANDELA:* Never again, will the chicken be questioned for crossing the road. This is an ideal for which I am prepared to die.

** THABO MBEKI:* We need to establish if really there is a connection between the chicken and the road.

** MUGABE:* For all of these years the road has been owned by the white farmers, the poor underprivileged chicken has waited too long for that road to be given to him and now he is crossing it in force with his fellow war veteran chickens. We intend taking over this road and giving it to the roadless chickens so that they can cross it without fear of retribution from Britain who promised money to institute road reform. We will not stop until all roadless chickens have roads to

cross and the freedom to cross them.

** ISAAC NEWTON*: Any chicken in the universe shall always cross a road perpendicularly to the side of the road, and in an infinitely long straight line at uniform speed, unless the chicken stops due to an unbalanced reactive force in the opposite direction of the chicken's motion .

** ZANU (PF) Spokesman:* The chicken did not cross the road. This is a complete fabrication. We don't even have a single chicken in our country as the whole world knows. All the chickens were bought and consumed by the long-suffering masses at give-away prices when we sent out our comrades to enforce what our enemies are now unpatriotically and maliciously referring to as the largest closing down sale in the world.

** JACOB ZUMA:* I am gravely suspicious that this question is being asked with a malicious intention to trap me, send the Scorpions to raid my chicken run, haul me before the courts and charge me for sodomizing the chicken that walked across the road towards me as it was running away from an advancing light shower! Awuleth' umshini wam' 

Friends

The difference
between "Simple Friends" and "REAL FRIENDS"!


A simple friend, when visiting, acts like a guest. A real friend opens your refrigerator and helps himself (and doesn't feel even the least bit weird shutting your 'beer/Pepsi drawer' with her foot!)

A simple friend
has never seen you cry. A real friend has shoulders soggy from your tears..

A simple friend doesn't know your parents' first names. A real friend has their phone numbers in his address book.

A simple friend brings a bottle of wine to your party. A real friend comes early to help you cook and stays late to help you clean.

A simple friend hates it when you call after they've gone to bed. A real friend asks you why you took so long to call.

A simple friend seeks to talk with you about your problems. A real friend seeks to help you with your problems.

A simple friend wonders about your romantic history. A real friend could blackmail you with it.

A simple friend thinks the friendship is over when you have an argument. A real friend calls you after you had a fight.

A simple friend expects! you to always be there for them. A real
friend expects to always be there for you!

Cedara

We have begun our academic year and so far we are settling well with the new semester. we are doing five courses, namely: Philosophy of nature, Islam, Philosophy of Religion, African Philosophy and Contemporary Philosophy.

I have found this following article to be interesting in Islamic course.

The Five Pillars of Islam

The Five Pillars of Islam are core beliefs that shape Muslim thought, deed, and society. A Muslim who fulfills the Five Pillars of Islam, remains in the faith of Islam, and sincerely repents of his sins, will make it to Jannah (paradise). If he performs the Five Pillars but does not remain in the faith, he will not be saved.

1. Shahada

A. The Shahada is the Islamic proclamation that "There is no true God except Allah and Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah."

B. This is the confession that Allah is the one and only true God, that Allah alone is worthy of worship, that Allah alone is the sovereign lord who does what he wills with whoever he wills. It means that all his rules and laws found in the Koran are to be followed. It means that the Christian doctrine of God as a Trinity is false as are all other belief systems including pantheism.

C. Muhammad is the true and greatest prophet of Allah and recognition of Muhammad as the Prophet of God is required. It was through Muhammad that Allah conveyed the last and final revelation.

2. Prayer (Salat)

. Prayer involves confession of sins which begins with the purification of the body and ends with the purification of the soul. Prayer is performed five times a day. The first prayer is at dawn and the last at sunset.

A. The names of the prayers are Fajr, Dhuhr, Asr, Maghrib, Isha. The Maghrib prayer is the sunset prayer. Isha is the prayer that is said after sunset. There is also a prayer that is said right after Fajr known as Shurooq.

3. Fasting (Saum)

. The month of Ramadan is the month of fasting in Islam. It is an act of worship where the faithful follower denies his own needs and seeks Allah. Usually, this fasting entails no drinking, eating during, or sexual relations during the daylight hours for the entire month of Ramadan.

4. Alms-giving or charity (Zakat)

. Charity given to the poor. It benefits the poor and it helps the giver by moving him towards more holiness and submission to Allah. Alms-giving is considered a form of worship to God.

5. Pilgrimage (Hajj)

. This is the pilgrimage to Mecca. All Muslims, if they are able, are to make a pilgrimage to Mecca. It involves financial sacrifice and is an act of worship. Muslims must make the pilgrimage the first half of the last month of the lunar year

New term, New Reality

As we have begun a new Semester we are having new visions, aspiration, ideas, hopes, and.....Well the list is endless. We would briefly like to share our Winter Pastoral work. Myself (Lehlohonolo) and Lichi were given different assignments. Lichi was doing driving lessons here at Cedara. And i went to Zambia for missionary experience.

We hope to keep this line of communication as effective at possible. With the new sessions of academic life at hand we would like you to keep up in you prayer...

June Pastoral Experience

After every academic semester, scholastics are assignied to different places for pastoral experience. For June-July winter break Lehlohonolo is going to Zambia (Likulu Mission). Lichi will be at the Scholasticate to resume his driving lessons.

St. Joseph's Theological Institute

On Friday, 09 March 2007 the Institute (SJTI) had elections for Student Forum and its Sub-committees. In one of the Sub-committee, I (Molete) was elected to be in the entertainment committee for the year 2007. This committee will be working mainly during Institute celebrations and functions.

We would also like to congradulate all those who have accepted different responsibility in the institute. May they be blessed in their service to all.

We particularly would like to congratulate all the Oblates who have willingly taken different responsibility, as the majority on the posts were filled with the Oblates. "Halala Maoblata"

Cedara Duties

We are having different duties/Responsibilities in our Community. I (Lehlohonolo) am responsible you our Oblate Library. I also organize the Passports and Visas for those who may need them.

Lichi is working in our Oblate Stationary Room. He is also working in the Kitchen in collaboration with the kitchen stuff.

Be sure to taste Good Food from Br. Lichi's Kitchen.